10% Weight Loss

Well I weighed in last night at Weight Watchers! I lost 2.2 lbs, making my weight loss 30 lbs, giving me a 10% weight loss since I started. YEAH!

You would think that would motivate me even more, right? Well, it has actually doing the opposite. When I first started this diet I weighed 300 lbs. I have gotten below 300 three different times in the past 6 years, but never below 294. At my heaviest, I weighed 330. That was probably 6 years ago. At that time, I got down into the 290's and lost motivation! Again two years ago, I started another diet and got down to the 294, then lost motivation. I truly believe something comes over me. I don't know if I don't believe that I can be successful, afraid of failure, tired of eating well, or just scared of gaining it back. Or maybe the stress from work? Our busy season has started back up and my days are extremely stressful. My job is what I believe is "hard to succeed" with options that are out of my control. Remember I am hard on myself when I am not perfect or feel others are thinking I am not doing my job.

Then there was the Biggest Loser Audition, I did go to the gym Sunday night after I went to the movies with my family. I was even good and packed my own lower in calories and sodium popcorn. Although I went to the gym I was just not "into it" as I have been in the past. I only burned 450 calories and was there two hours. I have not worked out since. : ( I am getting over the disappointment of not getting a call back. I am just telling myself that they could tell I was energized to lose weight and they are there to help those with "no clue". Whether it is true or not, that is what I am going to believe.

Since I have lost 30 lbs, I have grown more confident. I know I still have a lot to lose, but do you know how long it has been since I was in the 270's? Probably 10 years. That makes me feel AWESOME and POWERFUL! I need to stay positive and remember that. The 260's are just around the corner. I need to continue to focus on my weight loss 10 lbs at a time. I am hoping to be in the 250's when I go to FR! I don't care if it is 259.9, I just know that would be awesome and that will just be that much less weight to haul around during the hikes.

My 2010 goal of losing 80 lbs is totally doable. It is only March and I have lost 30 lbs. How awesome would it be to be closer to 200 than 300 at the end of the year! I have got to get my "I CAN DO IT" game face back ON! I have GOT to focus on ME! I have GOT to forget about work after I leave for the day! I need to stay positive and do what I can at work, and if I can not get everything done each day, I don't need to feel bad about it, because I can not handle circumstances out of my control.

I really need extra encouragement now! If you have gone through these "moments", please share! Only 53 days until I leave to go to The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge! I still have LOTS of shopping to do! And oh yeah, I forgot to share, I bought me a Polar Watch!!!! Yay! I am so excited to get it in the mail this week! I am hoping it arrives before my Thursday night at the gym!! I think the watch might be arriving just in time to help!!!